Day 14/15

Today is the 15th day of NYCUP. How far I have come.

Friday: Resource Card (I finished my (part of the) work--finally!) ---working:)
           Mont Lawn City Camp Gallery Show: the kids showed off the work they did the day before and we got to meet the parents and play with the kids again!
           LOGOFF Workshop: we discussed the Feed 500 Manual and such.

Saturday: FUN DAY
              Thrift shopping!
              The Museum of Natural History
              Alice's Tea Cup
              NY Pizza
              Laughs.
              Smiles.
              Matt & Jessi's Engagement Ring
              10 Things I Hate About You?

But, highlight of the day, a lovely worker in the museum told me, "Sacajawea" and then went on to tell me to go to the Native American section and pose in a display, because I apparently fit in so well with my braids. 

Yes. That happened. And as the girls talked, we discussed how "racism" is not to be feared, because at some point we become fearful to even see the differences. Now, I didn't mind the lady much, she was just trying to be "fun" I assume and notice how different I was...I think, but sometimes, I am guilty of this too--- how I exploit our differences to be a joke or some point...when really, race is utterly beautiful and I enjoy seeing the differences interact with each other. 

Now, I am all for different races and I am all for interracial everything, so--- I try not to be "racist", but at some point, we just forget each other and our mouths take control. And sometimes we are too afraid, because we think we are coming for a dark place or putting someone down. 

Say what you need to say, with wisdom and direction from God.

Lion King = Life Lessons

That's all I gotta say.

Sacajawea out.

P.S. Arrested Development Season 3. YES. (But I went out today, so...IMPROVEMENT!)
P.S.S. Should I have bought these? 

P.S.S.S. I am just going to combine days now, so 2 day posts instead of daily ones...awks? DON'T JUDGE ME....you guys don't comment anyway...sooo:P 


P.S.S.S.S. My first GIF. Jonathon was right...nothing good happens after 11PM. 

Day 12/13

So, the boys are here-- talking theology, which is ironic because I feel like I am back at my church, or any meeting with brown men, silent and thinking: Why are you asking these questions when we already know the answer? Or better yet, why are you asking these questions when we clearly cannot fathom the answer? Also, I know these things, but every time I open my mouth, it is "irrelevant" and "common knowledge". 

Whatever, I'll get my PhD in Theology another day, but now...I can't get my thoughts..in order. 

Okay. I have vented/spoken my theological issues, so now to the grit and grind(?).

Day 9/10/11/12: Loving others is expensive. / Perfect God. Broken People.

So, on Wednesday, we went to a protest at Nintendo for the exploitation of people in the Congo as stated in Day 10/11. 
From there we went to the Harvest Center (partnering with The Bowery Mission: Mont Lawn City Camp), where we planned for PreCamp week! Anna and I are doing a skit! It will be mad awesome! 

It seems like ages has passed since Monday and Padre Plaza, playing with 3 kids, and so forth--- but time moves fast when you are working hard!

Anyways, the reason I chose "Loving others is expensive", is that as Jonnie (J-Wall) was talking about it, I realized: Whoa. I do that...

For example, last Saturday, besides Maria & Sean's Engagement, we went to volunteer with some high school kids in making a community garden. I kept complaining and saying it was hard, and then thought--- that's how exploitation happens! We are too lazy to do our own work and receive what we put out, so we force others to do it for us for little to nothing!  

How is it that we preach and say so much on the matter, but when it actually comes down to changing policies, learning facts, and making moves--- we are lazy and fearful: afraid to spend our money, time, and effort? 

I realize that is happening to me, and it is hurting both my relationship with God and my fellowship with my fellow interns! 
Will I need to cut out Arrested Development from my free time? Probably.
Should I wake up earlier so I can ACTUALLY talk with God instead of praying at Him? Would help.
Do I put in 110% rather than 86.75% into everything I do? Most definitely. 

And on that point, it is hard to think this---but God wants to use us! We are broken people with a Perfect God, and that frustrates me, because within an instant this world could be perfect without fear, anger, hatred--- but He would need to cut us out of the picture. All of us. That is unbelievable. 
It is as if God made a machine and each part is unique and irreplaceable--- but somehow this machine breaks down and instead of throwing it away or making a new one, He fixes each broken part. He oils it again and again. He decides that He already made something perfect and instead of moving on, He sticks it out--- even when we fail Him again and again, and logic tells US otherwise! 

But the problem is we are still broken because each part of us is not seamlessly churning and turning! Not every single part is playing its role or oiled up enough. Not every part is willing to work with others and comply to its making and design. 

So, what do we do? We stop rolling off our clogs and hiding under couches. We should stop turning the opposite direction than how we are supposed to move. We should stop taking the place of others or not working well with the whole dynamic. Let God find you, oil you, make you brand new--- so that He may put you in your place in His divine masterpiece, because once it finally works--- whoa, can you imagine how beautiful that will be? 


Goodnight & Goodbye,

Princy


P.S. I miss my firefighters...
P.S.S. I work that mustache...

Awks. 12 minutes late! 

Day 10/11

So, this is my post to make up for yesterday and today. I unfortunately did not write anything on my wonderful folder, but I feel like forcing something "inspirational" to come out onto paper is worse than making something up right here on the spot and claiming it inspired me, so no.

Ironically, this was due to my final week of my online class, and yes-- I'M DONE. WHOOT. 
But it is actually ironic, because the class was anthropology and we were learning about the Mbuti Pygmies in the Ituri forest in the Congo. 

Did you know...
"More than three million people died in Congo's six years of civil strife, an internal scramble for power that saw one president assassinated and laid Congo open to the invading armies of at least six of its neighbors. The dead consist mainly of civilians. They perished mostly from starvation and disease: the worst human calamity since World War II. Yet, inevitably, it is Congo's lurid tales of cannibalism, its sensational stories of human sacrifice, its ornamental killings, which end up bubbling into the news."

Yeah, cry. Now. But really--- get real and get your life together, because you have one and if you are reading this, you are somehow a combination of educated, funded, loved, supported, and care for people around you! So, yeah. 

Have you ever heard of "conflict minerals"? No...good, because I never thought about them before literally this last week of class, and also through this video: Our Electronics from DR Congo Slavery.

I watched the video, but then I had this gruesome image in my head: 
Imagine, for a moment, that the United States is prostrated by a civil war. Desperate bureaucrats in Washington, D.C., cut off by years of fighting, issue an SOS to foreign green groups: Please help rescue America's fabled national parks! British activists respond by funding the entire budget of Yellowstone National Park, where gangs of neo-Nazis are holed up, machine-gunning the last buffalo. Japanese wildlife experts, meanwhile, face gunfire while resupplying beleaguered National Park Service rangers at the Everglades, where armed profiteers are peddling real estate. Scores of American rangers have been killed. 

This is conservation work in Congo.


I know this is sans-GIFs, but this is real (and I'm tired and there is much going on...also I missed out an amazing movie) and we need to learn...as I clearly have the past 5 weeks (in class) and the past week (in NYCUP). 

So, I leave you with this: when we look at the world, what do we see? Is there pain, why? Where is sin, and is it in me? 
Because sin is around us, but I believe we are engraved with the ability to care beyond the normal, because we reflect a God who cares beyond imagination. 

If we can make so much hatred, imagine if we came together--- each and every unique soul--- and took this planet to the place called Paradise.

Praise Jesus.

Goodnight & Goodbye,

Princy

Read more in National Geographic
Grab a copy of The Forest People

Pray, love, grow. 

Day 8/9

So, I know I did not write yesterday--- FORGIVE ME, MY INVISIBLE READERS! 

But anyway, Day 8 in summation: "Sabbath". "Farming". Maria & Sean's Engagement party. 
The Quote of the day is that. Basically.

Day 9. 

Candance and I made our way back from LI for a Sunday at Brooklyn Tabernacle. 

Gorgeous building, great choir, beautiful guest performance, & a lovely new experience--- but let me jump into the meat (mmmm, meat...Maria fed me. Or at least her mom did...). 

“Odd, the way the less the Bible is read the more it is translated” - C.S. Lewis

This goes into how when we cannot tell what is from God and what is not...we kinda of just need to read, because, as the pastor said, "God sounds just like His Word...He has something to say about everything!" 

But, obviously not all our problems and hard decisions are written out in the appendix or glossary, so what do we do?

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. 

- 1 Corinthians 6:12

And then ask these three questions:

1) Can Jesus hang out with this? (Is this profitable?)

2) Could this thing hang onto me? (Does it control me?)

I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive.

- 1 Corinthians 10:23

3) Is this thing hanging anyone else up? (Is this edifying?) 

And this is more than "WWJD?" or follow the old testament to the "T", it is looking at your life and realizing God has an answer to everything, and He says it all in His Word. 

But what really got me was what made it into my Quote of the Day: "Rod & Staff".

Did you know that the staff/rod is essentially the same tool, but just different names for the two ends? The curved part if the "stick" would be the staff, and the dull point or bottom would be the rod. 

Now, when the sheep goes away, the shepherd uses the rod to poke at the side of the sheep to, let's say, stop it from falling off a cliff. When the sheep perhaps gets away, falls, and is now crying out for help--- the staff is used to go around the sheep's neck and pull it back up! 

In our lives, we do things and Jesus is poking our sides, and we feel in our "gut"--- Princy, this...is a bad idea. And sometimes (a lot of the time), we just go ahead and do it, get stuck, and cry out for help---so Jesus comes, and he pulls up by the neck and it hurts because we have fallen so low and we need to be pulled so strongly to get back to Him!

Wow. That blew your mind, right? Because that blew mine.

On that note, we had a great Family Night. Tacos. And homemade nachos. 

Words.

Goodnight & Goodbye,

Princy

P.S. I want to DO something from this learning experience...so...starting a Christian sorority on campus? YES. Because I want to make changes and I would love to get to the Greek community. Now...whoever is reading this...hold me to this! This will take research and lots of work...but change happens when God is with us and we put in the effort!

Day 7

So, it has been a full week. Everyone is going out tonight-- to explore the city in its splendor. I believe if you are not ready to take in that enchantment  you just ruin the night for everyone. Tonight, I am not feeling the need to move. Then again, I am not feel the need to remove myself from Arrested Development, which is probably going to be Quote of the Day. For those who say, "Well, that is not spiritually uplifting!"...:P

Also, tomorrow is a big day of farming and then off to Maria & Sean's engagement party--- WHOOT WHOOO.  But today we worked and then ate and then worked and prayed...and so the cycle continues. What I realize was that Day 6's Quote was never explained, so I feel like I might let you in on my spiritual thoughts now...just to balance the lack of nothingness I have done since discovering Arrested Development on Netflix. 

The Bible study last night led us to Isaiah 6. Now, I wrote a poem a long while ago on it:

Lit Coal

A wondrous sight my eyes beheld.

Such purity,

That was literally unveiled.

Creatures like doves,

More majestic than most,

Flew over my head like a cloud of hosts.

Their flight shook the pillars,

Their sound racked my bones.

Each cell the Creator made,

Burst with blood anew.

“Unclean lips!” says I.

Unclean and soiled with this filthy world.

In contrast to such beauty,

As rendered so rare,

I truly find humility in humanity,

Such insignificant little cares.

Yet in a crowd of glorious light,

A coal lit in life’s own flame,

Came a touch so pure,

To not know of it is shame!

He then called to me:

“Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”

Joy so fervent rose in my heart,

And the words could not come out fast enough!

“HERE I AM. SEND ME!”

Lord,

Take this body:

A vessel for You.

Make this soul:

Completely renewed.

Change this being:

For Your Will to be.

Take this coal,

And light a fire in me!

Isaiah 6 : 1- 8

Now, the quote of the day yesterday was: "My Isaiah Moment", and as a study group, we discussed what that meant and gave a personal story. 

This moment contains: Revelation, Confession, Repentance; Willingness and Calling.

Now, this moment does not need to have all 5 parts, and it can be divided into the first three and the last two. For me, I feel like Isaiah 6 has always been cut off at the "here I am, send me", because it is the missional passage. Everyone uses it to start the new year or to encourage people to move and act. 

However, what we seem to ignore is that God is telling this to a prophet who has to tell a group of people, "Things are going to go downhill. Until you have been crushed, laid desolate, ended, destroyed." 

Now, if I was the one that had to take all that, I'd be like, "God...can I like stay up here with you through that...or...?" Israel was doing well right now, so this is not good news. But even before that, God tells Isaiah to bring people to Him by their belief alone, but the bad will still happen.

Yet, in the end, the last verse says (verse 13): "And though a tenth remains in the land, it will again be laid waste. But as the terebinth and oak leave stumps when they are cut down, so the holy seed will be the stump in the land."

Candance took that as a prophecy of Jesus-- the holy seed. I took it in my own context, and with my story, as my planting a seed even in my struggle and loss. 

It was my freshman year, first fall semester. I came into Hofstra as a Pre-Med major. God, as my only witness, I despised my school, the people around me were not people I cared for, I felt stupid, spoiled, ignored, and just...horrible. I cried many nights, PRAYING, pleading that God tell me if this was my life-- if everything I was going through was meant for me, because let's face it--- as the first born daughter of immigrant parents, there were dreams on me, and it was not necessarily mine.

Long story short--- I listened to God, who in a mere moment took my breathe away. My tears stopped. My pain was lifted, and in that instant, God--what I felt--- words are not enough. 

The thing is that just because I am a Creative Writing/Photography  major with a minor in Art History and Computer Applications & Digital Media Design, that in no way means my life is "easier"! 

Try being that daughter that does a 180 and does the one thing you wished you did not waste you money, time, and struggles on! How about having a bunch of friends who are clearly smarter than you and no one lets you forget it because you "gave up" when it got hard? 

Yeah. That was my "cities [laid in ruin] and without inhabitant, until the houses [were] left deserted and the fields ruined and ravaged". But here I am, and even if I do not have a job waiting for me (I don't worry) or my parents are disappointed (they have two other kids), I want to end this life with at least a seed planted...to be used to spread the Word, to bring God to every soul, to use my being and stand firm when seraphim (like seriously...they are supernatural and they fly at you with BURNING COAL) come at me with burning coal so that I can be purified and used. Besides, it is the stump that has the seed...so even when I'm cut down, there is something left in me!

So, what is your Isaiah moment? Are you ready to be cleansed and used, even when everyone will hate you for your words, will you be Here? Are you willing to be a stump and not a tree?

Goodnight & Blessings,

Princy

P.S. The quote was: "Arrested Development. Gob is my favorite."
P.S.S. Amy Poehler and Will Arnett should still be together...because the Arrested Development episodes where they are together are literally perfect. 

still in progress:)

Day 6

So, I start this blog with something I saw on Facebook (oops.)-- but before I let the comments distract me, I just wanted to think about the actual post. Time is infinite for God, and He put you in His plans...meaning our minute amount of time is part of a larger picture.

Anyways, as I was listening to music and riding the bus home, an old man exited and with a serene kind of stillness and peace, just stood in the street. He, in his ragged appearance, old cane in hand, empty plastic bad clinging carelessly to a few crooked fingers, was a sight. I teared, as he looked in a wayward distance and then dragged his body away. 

I teared, because somewhere in my soul, I feared. 

When I was younger, it is safe to say my childhood was not lollipops and sunshine, good decisions, and wonderful development. So, I would make dreams: that I would become a doctor-teacher-principal-millionaire that would take every child ever ignored or alone, every foster kid, every soon-to-be-aborted child and put them in my home. Now, my home was a mansion, able to sustain all of them. There would be training and support for the mothers who did not have homes and needed love. There would be classrooms where all the kids would learn and go off to college. I would build several estates all over the States and then move into other countries. I also took care of all the animals in shelters and on the streets, because each soul made me think of the times
I felt that love was lacking in my life. This also included all the grandparents I see by themselves, all the sick, all the poor...every soul that was alone...

So, today, seeing that old man-- he may have been going to a party, visiting his grand-kids, or as alone as I felt he was---  made me remember my solution for peace. I truly believe every person needs someone to love them. The thing is that...that person is not me...and will never be me. That person is God. That person is Jesus. 

Words? (A lot is going on right now so I can't cry in front of people---because they make me happy...especially Nancy who is literally a bundle of joy wrapped in happiness!)

Anyways, Jonathon gave us each a book that apparently is something he thinks we should read: 

AKA. ---interracial everything?...JKAY, that's not why we're here.

But also...listening to some mixes from DJ Prevail...tell him to give me music and mix at my wedding. KTB.

Goodbye & Good EVENING (wow, early!),

Princy

P.S. My "Quote of the Day" was: My Isaiah Moment. (And I will tell you more about it another time..that...is a WHOLE other post!)

Day 5

So, Shereen is playing some slow music right now, and it is depressing me. I mean, right now, I feel drained and a bit tired. 

BUT I'm excited for tomorrow--- we get to play with kids, like what I did in Spring Break, but I get to bring Jesus in:) Perfect way to spend a day. 

So, today I wrote on my folder (after much struggle as an English major with terrible spelling): "Privilege to serve."

Now, today we came into work (a great place to work btw), and Isaac and Danielle (from Spring Break) talked about how we should act with the kids and what to do and not to do. I heard it before, but Issac said something that stuck--and I wrote it on my folder, so I do not forget. 

Now, the other day I wrote a little poem in my down time:

If I saw the broken mirror,
I'd just throw it away.
There is no use in cutting my fingers,
To save this world anyway.
These are the thoughts,
We so easily say.
But think of the Cross,
The blood already paid.
He picked up the pieces,
He took all the scars.
So we are the glue,
Stopping the pieces from falling off again. 

Now, I wrote the poem with a little influence from Jonathon calling this world "a mirror image of Heaven", but in our sin we have broken it, and now it takes God to put us, the pieces, back together again. 

I connect this to serving, because sometimes I am guilty of this, we do things because we know a reward waits for us. Or, we think we are the ones who can hold it all...like Atlas. Honestly, if I am a broken piece of a mirror, and I am picked up---even I hurt the one person who cares enough to put me back in my place...with my fellow broken brothers and sisters... God, what a privilege!

I know that is an extreme of personification--- but what a beautiful way of thinking. I want to be whole again, to reflect the beauty of my Lord...but how can I do that if parts of me are still missing? We are, I believe, parts of God's heart. He misses us, and sometimes like a broken mirror, we cut Him even when He cares to pick us back up again...but He loves us...we are in His heart. Always and forever.

A little danger,
Blood drawn now--
But see the masterpiece,
I sell my son for.
This little imagery,
A world that doesn't know--
How far I will go,
To bring them all home.
So, let me take this Cross,
Let me bear their beatings.
If I be shunned and hated,
I'll never leave them.
These beautiful pieces,
Broken in their own way--
Come together,
And when I smile--
Oh, how the Heavens will praise me. 


Goodbye & Goodnight,

Princy

8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:8-10

P.S. Sorry I wrote that poem on the spot...it needs work...just like I do:P

Day 4

Today, I had many thoughts. I'll be quick to get to the point: I started my internship with the Mont Lawn City Camp. So basically, what we're doing is legitimately thinking of every vulnerable person from runaway to disabled children to veterans and more, and making a resource card for them. With this, we are also making a curriculum to give to any person or organization to train them in making the right steps and moves to help the vulnerable people around them. With this also, we are making a Bible study for these lovely future volunteers. Yes. A lot.

But I wrote on my folder (the bottle has been suspended due to excess smudging and lack of draw-ability): This is more than resources. We Grow®. 

The first was about how this resource packet and everything else that goes along with it is not just people getting help with jobs, children, food, homes, etc., we are also trying to bring Jesus in everything we do. I realize that God is a resource EVERY PERSON should have, and it is my job to give that to as many souls as possible.

But now...getting to We Grow®. We watched the documentary, Fresh, and I watched it before during Spring Break...and my mind wandered. So basically, the industrial food system is not only corrupt but cruel. 
But it made me realize our problem is that we WANT everything. Do we need it? NO. We need to be fed, sure-- and eat well-- yes; but do we need to have out of season fruits when it clearly needs to be flown in from other countries to be sold? And why for the love of gravy (I love gravy) do we need to make so much corn, just so that it is sold back to subsidiaries that make that excess corn into chemicals, preservatives  and feed for animals that NATURALLY don't eat it?! 

We are hating ourselves and it is clearly shown in our food, because we think we are not worth proper food that has been raised healthy and with love and care. We belittle that and then we consume food that not only ruins our bodies but it ruins the natural ecosystem that NEVER creates pigs to live 20,000 at a time in a small cylinder! 

Now I love meats. And at one point, I told myself: I'm going to fight this by being vegetarian...or vegan...or just breathing air...or just dying because I can't stop this. Or moving to an island and growing my own food, because no one else wants America's GMO filled foods.... BUT then I closed my eyes (not really...just glazed over) during this film, and I imagined my wonderful supermarket: We Grow®. 

I would not call it "Princy's", because that is self serving. I want it to mean that we grown both physically with good food, relationally with good company, and systematically with supporting our community, local farmers and companies. But I also want to grow spiritual, so we would be closed on Sundays EXCEPT for a Community Family Dinner we'd host as a store Sunday evenings, where people dance, laugh, and just enjoy each other's presence and the presence of God! 

I mean this is just a dream I see that ANYONE can do, and perhaps by starting I could talk to the people that bring the Organic and Local Foods Fair to Hofstra for one week during the beginning of the semester. I never met them or talked to them...come to think of it, I never bought from them either--- but if I could learn about the local and organic foods that both help the local family community and economy, as well as help my body be filled with nutritious and wholesome food...why not?! 

So, tonight, I pray that these dreams do not disappear. These hopes will not die with a movie or emotion. I want us to bring America back from the excess and realize all we need is love to make the world a better place. Love and knowledge truly makes the world go round, and God can provide the best of both!

Thank You & Goodnight (and invitations to perhaps the future opening of We Grow®),
Princy

P.S. Base salary would be about $15, we would be dressing casually but professionally--- and every shipment of food would come with a photo of the families that supplied your delicious treats! Big dreams start with big hearts (...and big stomachs too) :)

P.S.S. I am too lazy to look up GIFs (SORRYYYY)...but here you go:

Fresh. 

Day 3

So instead of finishing my online homework for my summer class, I am write to you--my invisible readers. Meaning-- I AM TRYING HERE, ARE YOU LISTENING? AKA: I'm trying to make sure you know your money is being put to work! And so is this servant:)

Woke up today like it was any normal NYCUP day-- ate some delicious organic and fair-trade breakfast and went on a scavenger hunt in Washington Heights. AKA---I was finding all my essentials for when I move here! P.S. FORGIVE ME if my Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, and Instagram was blowing up--- Jonathon was happy though that we got NYCUP and LOGOFF some legit publicity. P.S.S. Firefighters are AWESOME.

Which leads me to my note of the day on the good 'ol bottle (which I dropped...along with Papa, my laptop): Who am I--- and who am I afraid of? Firefighters are awesome. 

First and foremost, we talked about Xenophobia and one of our staff, Chris, went through a personal story about his own struggles with racism, identity  and just the concept of "other". 

Let me tell you about mine. I am a Pentecostal Malayalee female--- and literally only by birth. Pentecostal means so many things in the Malayalee community. There are so many sects and division, because of one or two changes or even entirely different Biblical theology. I am Malayalee, but I needed Google's help to spell that. Sad. I was born in America but lived in India for about 4 years, so I came to America knowing no English. Now, besides dealing with the issues of being foreign, so foreign you didn't make friends as a kid---worked for me. So if you didn't like me: fine, I'll beat you into submission and let you hate me from below. Literally. 

As I got older and you find your cliche and stuff like that, that female part of me stuck out. Generally, in this rigid community--- women do not serve on leadership. They are not pastors. They can MAYBE be missioners, but that is not necessarily their "calling". That sucks. 

This is all brief and fast paced, but connecting that to LOGOFF and the fight against human trafficking takes me to the documentary screening we saw tonight: Girl Rising. I will not spoil it for you, but here is a trailer.

Basically, at one point in my life I said: "That could have been me". This was in response to every tale of a trafficked girl and to every statistic I cringed at. If I was born in another family  maybe in another time, in another place--- I could easily have been a statistic. 

Well...I REBUKE THAT. I realize my xenophobia is of myself... So many times people think I'm Hispanic, and I take that with pleasure. But when someone perhaps guesses right and says Indian...I realize my face is a bit discouraged. That is putting my family to shame. That is putting my relatives to shame. Everything my great grandparents did for us, everything my parents did to---taking a chance--- moving to America for my sisters and I, and I am not even proud enough to say, I am Indian? That is a shame.

Now, I am a statistic of my own...I won't go into details, but for a long time I thought I was not worth it. I was unholy, dirty, torn, broken, and just not...enough. God is enough. JESUS'S BLOOD is more than enough, because my sins, my pains, my struggles, and past has formed me to being this person---so in a way I am a Girl Rising, too. My story does not necessarily involve a trafficking victim, an abused child, or a community that did not love me--- but what I did lack was knowledge and what Girl Rising was meant to do was to tell us that educating our young girls, in every corner of the world will literally save this world. Because ladies, I realized that if I was born in Nepal, Kolkata, or Peru--- I would probably be just as intuitive, creative, and amazing as God created me to be. 

Never change, just keep growing...because we are never done until Jesus takes us home.

Thank You & Goodnight,

Princy

P.S. Liam Neeson is literally an amazing man. Watch the movie and you will know why:)

P.S.S. Firefighters are awesome because of this...

Day 2

It has been one day (technically night) since I have arrived in Wash Heights (do I sound like the typical Long Island "white" girl when I say that?...DARN IT), and the adventure has been magical. So magical that it feels like I have done more things in two days than I have done in the past two weeks. Whoa.

Well, today, we watched Park Avenue: Money, Power, & The American Dream; and God as my witness (once again), I wanted to flip some...tables. Documentaries always get to me! Yet, this time, I was more hesitant, because let's face it--- politics is literally a giant game where people use big words and shake hands, while either stabbing each other in the backs (metaphorically) and exchanging cash (most likely physically). It pissed me off, because though it definitely talked about the infamous 740 Park Avenue and those that call it home (or more likely "one of my apartments"), down Park Avenue across the river, thousands upon thousands of people struggle with poverty every day. 

We went into politics and business, the systemic brokenness of America. Some of the things shocked me, like who funded the people I voted for (or didn't....I won't tell!) and how so many organization use iconic words like "freedom" and "prosperity" to define such outrageous and single-minded schemes! I wonder why things never get passed and action taken, oh right--- money talks...but in hushed whispers and through bought politicians. I have to say my mind was wiped and frankly, I felt dumb for not knowing...but also for letting my emotions run wild, because in fact this too was only showing one side of the problem and the problem is not a single thing. Politics is too complex...and unfortunately  that's why I don't care.

I pray to change that. Which leads me to my next point: Atlas. Though it did make a brief presence in the documentary (through the novel "Atlas Shrugged"), I did not focus on it as much, because just as much as this movie had a point---it was also MADE to make certain point., Also, I should probably READ "Atlas Shrugged" before I go running my mouth on the Internet. 

That being said, I wrote on my bottle today: "Am I stupid or is politics just complete poop?" And then after we visited the large bronze Atlas in Rockefeller Center, I wrote: "You are NOT Atlas. You never want to be." 

I say that because what some don't understand is that Atlas's punishment was not holding up the world (or grand celestial bodies). The punishment was that he was eternally struggling with the weight of it, and therefore always on the verge of being crushed. This, of course, is Greek mythology (which I enjoy) but so many times I come into a problem or see a heartbreaking documentary and the world is put on my shoulders. I carry the burdens, expectations, and problems of the entire world--- as if I can carry it. That is not my job, That will never be my job. Jesus is not only the only One able to carry the weight of the world, He has already done so...so why am I struggling under this weight? 

That is why at FEED 500 today, I went in with expectations and hopes to "save lives" and CHANGE THE WORLD, but God doesn't NEED me for that. He simply WANTS me to do that. He wants me to partner with Him, because: yes, I know God has great and grand plans for me. And yes, I want His will alone to be done--- but when His perfect plan is enacted, are we not working in a great and grand plan?

So, tonight--- I pray that I will never be Atlas. I can only struggle under the weight of every problem I want to fix, but God already has the whole world in His hand (He can hold it with even just one)! You are beautifully and fearfully and wonderfully made--- do not belittle yourself by putting aside humility and grace in an attempt to carry the world, only to be crushed by its weight. 


Thanks & Night,

Princy

“Since I know its all for Christ’s good, I am quite content with my weaknesses and insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

—	2 Corinthians 12:10

Day 1

So I know this is technically a day late, but I wrote this the night of (J-Wall just has a strict curfew, and I will clearly know why in the morning…), so DON’T HATE ME. Just read.

This day has been quite something. We drove here (we meaning the two beautiful ladies and me: Candace and Sherin--- though I like to call them CandaNce and SherEEn) by car, and frankly, I am in love. To begin, we broke up into groups and walked around to pray for things we felt the Spirit has led us to pray for.

I saw women—no, GIRLS--- dressed in a way that just screamed belittling rap video and “eye candy”. Ladies, let me tell you now—NEVER belittle yourself to be “CANDY” for anyone. Why? Because candy is sugary and tastes good for a while, but it rots the teeth. Don’t be the apple of an eye either, because quite frankly…being synonymous to some fruit that was appealing enough to picked and bitten does not suit you. You, my dears, are beautiful gifts from a king. You deserve a prince, not boys who are attracted to you for a mere second because their “little” brains tell them so.

Likewise, I prayed for the men--- the families, women, girls, children, who did not have a paternal presence with them. The young boys riding around with no one to tell them they are loved and wanted. To the boys still trying to learn to be men, but have no one to teach them. I prayed for them, as well.

That being said, I simply love Washington Heights. God as my witness (well, when is He not…), every other storefront was playing Spanish music—reggaetón, bachata, and salsa, whatever--- I wanted to move every fiber of my being to the beat. Even better, the smells ---sweet and fresh fruits in a street vendor’s cart mingled in with the burn of gasoline from motor bikes and music blasting cars--- it was intoxicating. I truly felt like JLo, walking down her street, owning, saying hi to the little kids down my block, catching a game of checkers with the old guys who hang around the park arguing and watching baseball. It was…the city.

Besides my enthrallment with the Spanish culture, I decided each day I would put one thing that stuck to me on my NYCUP LOGOFF water bottle. Today I wrote: “Does this mean I’m Spanish?”

Now, clearly after my journey around the Heights, I clearly had a high going---but then we broke down into the word. My question now is: WHERE IS MY VILLAGE? And WHAT WOULD IT LOOK LIKE IF EVERY WORD WERE FILLED WITH LIVING WATER?

To explain these questions, I bring you to John 4. We all know the tale of the Samaritan woman who comes to the well but finds Jesus who offers her more. In addition, I’ll be brief, but what we gleamed from that was that Jesus came to her Personally. She took that and went Relationally. Moreover, that affected her town and people Systematically. Now, God comes to us through all of that. He loves us personally, meaning what I get from God and what I need from Him will not be the same as you. What I receive of Him, I need to take to the relationships around me: my family, my friends, my school, my workplace. And that, by the grace of God, will move SYSTEMS. What I focused on was that though she brought the word into her town, they did not believe because of her--- “It is no longer because of what you said that we believe, for we have heard for ourselves and know that this One is indeed the Savior of the world.”

Sometimes, we go in thinking we need to do something grand--- heal people, prophecy, raise the dead, but honestly it is not us that work: it is God. Sure, we may bring the crowds, I may bring the friends, we may find the one lost soul--- but it is when Jesus speaks and works that lives are saved. We are simply messengers and vessels for that action!

Furthermore, we say that the Word, the Bible, is Living Water. And these people were so very thirsty. They did not need water; they needed living water, the Word. Therefore, words are just as powerful, and therefore, every word we speak should be filled with Living Water. Because the thirsty will come, whether they knew they were thirsty or not.

Powerful stuff, right? Girl/boy (I won’t objectify you), you know it. I pray tonight that I learn where my village is. That when I am done taking in this living water, I tell the whole world. Because Jesus knew of the woman and her deepest secrets (her many husbands and status), but He still wanted to fill her and use her to systematically fill a thousand more. Be the vessel, and let your cup be filled to overflow.

Thank you for reading, Good night, and God Bless!

P.S. Video stuff is complicated so I guess you will have to stick to my boring (NOT) words and pictures still:P