Day 14/15

Today is the 15th day of NYCUP. How far I have come.

Friday: Resource Card (I finished my (part of the) work--finally!) ---working:)
           Mont Lawn City Camp Gallery Show: the kids showed off the work they did the day before and we got to meet the parents and play with the kids again!
           LOGOFF Workshop: we discussed the Feed 500 Manual and such.

Saturday: FUN DAY
              Thrift shopping!
              The Museum of Natural History
              Alice's Tea Cup
              NY Pizza
              Laughs.
              Smiles.
              Matt & Jessi's Engagement Ring
              10 Things I Hate About You?

But, highlight of the day, a lovely worker in the museum told me, "Sacajawea" and then went on to tell me to go to the Native American section and pose in a display, because I apparently fit in so well with my braids. 

Yes. That happened. And as the girls talked, we discussed how "racism" is not to be feared, because at some point we become fearful to even see the differences. Now, I didn't mind the lady much, she was just trying to be "fun" I assume and notice how different I was...I think, but sometimes, I am guilty of this too--- how I exploit our differences to be a joke or some point...when really, race is utterly beautiful and I enjoy seeing the differences interact with each other. 

Now, I am all for different races and I am all for interracial everything, so--- I try not to be "racist", but at some point, we just forget each other and our mouths take control. And sometimes we are too afraid, because we think we are coming for a dark place or putting someone down. 

Say what you need to say, with wisdom and direction from God.

Lion King = Life Lessons

That's all I gotta say.

Sacajawea out.

P.S. Arrested Development Season 3. YES. (But I went out today, so...IMPROVEMENT!)
P.S.S. Should I have bought these? 

P.S.S.S. I am just going to combine days now, so 2 day posts instead of daily ones...awks? DON'T JUDGE ME....you guys don't comment anyway...sooo:P 


P.S.S.S.S. My first GIF. Jonathon was right...nothing good happens after 11PM. 

Day 12/13

So, the boys are here-- talking theology, which is ironic because I feel like I am back at my church, or any meeting with brown men, silent and thinking: Why are you asking these questions when we already know the answer? Or better yet, why are you asking these questions when we clearly cannot fathom the answer? Also, I know these things, but every time I open my mouth, it is "irrelevant" and "common knowledge". 

Whatever, I'll get my PhD in Theology another day, but now...I can't get my thoughts..in order. 

Okay. I have vented/spoken my theological issues, so now to the grit and grind(?).

Day 9/10/11/12: Loving others is expensive. / Perfect God. Broken People.

So, on Wednesday, we went to a protest at Nintendo for the exploitation of people in the Congo as stated in Day 10/11. 
From there we went to the Harvest Center (partnering with The Bowery Mission: Mont Lawn City Camp), where we planned for PreCamp week! Anna and I are doing a skit! It will be mad awesome! 

It seems like ages has passed since Monday and Padre Plaza, playing with 3 kids, and so forth--- but time moves fast when you are working hard!

Anyways, the reason I chose "Loving others is expensive", is that as Jonnie (J-Wall) was talking about it, I realized: Whoa. I do that...

For example, last Saturday, besides Maria & Sean's Engagement, we went to volunteer with some high school kids in making a community garden. I kept complaining and saying it was hard, and then thought--- that's how exploitation happens! We are too lazy to do our own work and receive what we put out, so we force others to do it for us for little to nothing!  

How is it that we preach and say so much on the matter, but when it actually comes down to changing policies, learning facts, and making moves--- we are lazy and fearful: afraid to spend our money, time, and effort? 

I realize that is happening to me, and it is hurting both my relationship with God and my fellowship with my fellow interns! 
Will I need to cut out Arrested Development from my free time? Probably.
Should I wake up earlier so I can ACTUALLY talk with God instead of praying at Him? Would help.
Do I put in 110% rather than 86.75% into everything I do? Most definitely. 

And on that point, it is hard to think this---but God wants to use us! We are broken people with a Perfect God, and that frustrates me, because within an instant this world could be perfect without fear, anger, hatred--- but He would need to cut us out of the picture. All of us. That is unbelievable. 
It is as if God made a machine and each part is unique and irreplaceable--- but somehow this machine breaks down and instead of throwing it away or making a new one, He fixes each broken part. He oils it again and again. He decides that He already made something perfect and instead of moving on, He sticks it out--- even when we fail Him again and again, and logic tells US otherwise! 

But the problem is we are still broken because each part of us is not seamlessly churning and turning! Not every single part is playing its role or oiled up enough. Not every part is willing to work with others and comply to its making and design. 

So, what do we do? We stop rolling off our clogs and hiding under couches. We should stop turning the opposite direction than how we are supposed to move. We should stop taking the place of others or not working well with the whole dynamic. Let God find you, oil you, make you brand new--- so that He may put you in your place in His divine masterpiece, because once it finally works--- whoa, can you imagine how beautiful that will be? 


Goodnight & Goodbye,

Princy


P.S. I miss my firefighters...
P.S.S. I work that mustache...

Awks. 12 minutes late! 

Day 10/11

So, this is my post to make up for yesterday and today. I unfortunately did not write anything on my wonderful folder, but I feel like forcing something "inspirational" to come out onto paper is worse than making something up right here on the spot and claiming it inspired me, so no.

Ironically, this was due to my final week of my online class, and yes-- I'M DONE. WHOOT. 
But it is actually ironic, because the class was anthropology and we were learning about the Mbuti Pygmies in the Ituri forest in the Congo. 

Did you know...
"More than three million people died in Congo's six years of civil strife, an internal scramble for power that saw one president assassinated and laid Congo open to the invading armies of at least six of its neighbors. The dead consist mainly of civilians. They perished mostly from starvation and disease: the worst human calamity since World War II. Yet, inevitably, it is Congo's lurid tales of cannibalism, its sensational stories of human sacrifice, its ornamental killings, which end up bubbling into the news."

Yeah, cry. Now. But really--- get real and get your life together, because you have one and if you are reading this, you are somehow a combination of educated, funded, loved, supported, and care for people around you! So, yeah. 

Have you ever heard of "conflict minerals"? No...good, because I never thought about them before literally this last week of class, and also through this video: Our Electronics from DR Congo Slavery.

I watched the video, but then I had this gruesome image in my head: 
Imagine, for a moment, that the United States is prostrated by a civil war. Desperate bureaucrats in Washington, D.C., cut off by years of fighting, issue an SOS to foreign green groups: Please help rescue America's fabled national parks! British activists respond by funding the entire budget of Yellowstone National Park, where gangs of neo-Nazis are holed up, machine-gunning the last buffalo. Japanese wildlife experts, meanwhile, face gunfire while resupplying beleaguered National Park Service rangers at the Everglades, where armed profiteers are peddling real estate. Scores of American rangers have been killed. 

This is conservation work in Congo.


I know this is sans-GIFs, but this is real (and I'm tired and there is much going on...also I missed out an amazing movie) and we need to learn...as I clearly have the past 5 weeks (in class) and the past week (in NYCUP). 

So, I leave you with this: when we look at the world, what do we see? Is there pain, why? Where is sin, and is it in me? 
Because sin is around us, but I believe we are engraved with the ability to care beyond the normal, because we reflect a God who cares beyond imagination. 

If we can make so much hatred, imagine if we came together--- each and every unique soul--- and took this planet to the place called Paradise.

Praise Jesus.

Goodnight & Goodbye,

Princy

Read more in National Geographic
Grab a copy of The Forest People

Pray, love, grow. 

Day 8/9

So, I know I did not write yesterday--- FORGIVE ME, MY INVISIBLE READERS! 

But anyway, Day 8 in summation: "Sabbath". "Farming". Maria & Sean's Engagement party. 
The Quote of the day is that. Basically.

Day 9. 

Candance and I made our way back from LI for a Sunday at Brooklyn Tabernacle. 

Gorgeous building, great choir, beautiful guest performance, & a lovely new experience--- but let me jump into the meat (mmmm, meat...Maria fed me. Or at least her mom did...). 

“Odd, the way the less the Bible is read the more it is translated” - C.S. Lewis

This goes into how when we cannot tell what is from God and what is not...we kinda of just need to read, because, as the pastor said, "God sounds just like His Word...He has something to say about everything!" 

But, obviously not all our problems and hard decisions are written out in the appendix or glossary, so what do we do?

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything. 

- 1 Corinthians 6:12

And then ask these three questions:

1) Can Jesus hang out with this? (Is this profitable?)

2) Could this thing hang onto me? (Does it control me?)

I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive.

- 1 Corinthians 10:23

3) Is this thing hanging anyone else up? (Is this edifying?) 

And this is more than "WWJD?" or follow the old testament to the "T", it is looking at your life and realizing God has an answer to everything, and He says it all in His Word. 

But what really got me was what made it into my Quote of the Day: "Rod & Staff".

Did you know that the staff/rod is essentially the same tool, but just different names for the two ends? The curved part if the "stick" would be the staff, and the dull point or bottom would be the rod. 

Now, when the sheep goes away, the shepherd uses the rod to poke at the side of the sheep to, let's say, stop it from falling off a cliff. When the sheep perhaps gets away, falls, and is now crying out for help--- the staff is used to go around the sheep's neck and pull it back up! 

In our lives, we do things and Jesus is poking our sides, and we feel in our "gut"--- Princy, this...is a bad idea. And sometimes (a lot of the time), we just go ahead and do it, get stuck, and cry out for help---so Jesus comes, and he pulls up by the neck and it hurts because we have fallen so low and we need to be pulled so strongly to get back to Him!

Wow. That blew your mind, right? Because that blew mine.

On that note, we had a great Family Night. Tacos. And homemade nachos. 

Words.

Goodnight & Goodbye,

Princy

P.S. I want to DO something from this learning experience...so...starting a Christian sorority on campus? YES. Because I want to make changes and I would love to get to the Greek community. Now...whoever is reading this...hold me to this! This will take research and lots of work...but change happens when God is with us and we put in the effort!

Day 7

So, it has been a full week. Everyone is going out tonight-- to explore the city in its splendor. I believe if you are not ready to take in that enchantment  you just ruin the night for everyone. Tonight, I am not feeling the need to move. Then again, I am not feel the need to remove myself from Arrested Development, which is probably going to be Quote of the Day. For those who say, "Well, that is not spiritually uplifting!"...:P

Also, tomorrow is a big day of farming and then off to Maria & Sean's engagement party--- WHOOT WHOOO.  But today we worked and then ate and then worked and prayed...and so the cycle continues. What I realize was that Day 6's Quote was never explained, so I feel like I might let you in on my spiritual thoughts now...just to balance the lack of nothingness I have done since discovering Arrested Development on Netflix. 

The Bible study last night led us to Isaiah 6. Now, I wrote a poem a long while ago on it:

Lit Coal

A wondrous sight my eyes beheld.

Such purity,

That was literally unveiled.

Creatures like doves,

More majestic than most,

Flew over my head like a cloud of hosts.

Their flight shook the pillars,

Their sound racked my bones.

Each cell the Creator made,

Burst with blood anew.

“Unclean lips!” says I.

Unclean and soiled with this filthy world.

In contrast to such beauty,

As rendered so rare,

I truly find humility in humanity,

Such insignificant little cares.

Yet in a crowd of glorious light,

A coal lit in life’s own flame,

Came a touch so pure,

To not know of it is shame!

He then called to me:

“Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?”

Joy so fervent rose in my heart,

And the words could not come out fast enough!

“HERE I AM. SEND ME!”

Lord,

Take this body:

A vessel for You.

Make this soul:

Completely renewed.

Change this being:

For Your Will to be.

Take this coal,

And light a fire in me!

Isaiah 6 : 1- 8

Now, the quote of the day yesterday was: "My Isaiah Moment", and as a study group, we discussed what that meant and gave a personal story. 

This moment contains: Revelation, Confession, Repentance; Willingness and Calling.

Now, this moment does not need to have all 5 parts, and it can be divided into the first three and the last two. For me, I feel like Isaiah 6 has always been cut off at the "here I am, send me", because it is the missional passage. Everyone uses it to start the new year or to encourage people to move and act. 

However, what we seem to ignore is that God is telling this to a prophet who has to tell a group of people, "Things are going to go downhill. Until you have been crushed, laid desolate, ended, destroyed." 

Now, if I was the one that had to take all that, I'd be like, "God...can I like stay up here with you through that...or...?" Israel was doing well right now, so this is not good news. But even before that, God tells Isaiah to bring people to Him by their belief alone, but the bad will still happen.

Yet, in the end, the last verse says (verse 13): "And though a tenth remains in the land, it will again be laid waste. But as the terebinth and oak leave stumps when they are cut down, so the holy seed will be the stump in the land."

Candance took that as a prophecy of Jesus-- the holy seed. I took it in my own context, and with my story, as my planting a seed even in my struggle and loss. 

It was my freshman year, first fall semester. I came into Hofstra as a Pre-Med major. God, as my only witness, I despised my school, the people around me were not people I cared for, I felt stupid, spoiled, ignored, and just...horrible. I cried many nights, PRAYING, pleading that God tell me if this was my life-- if everything I was going through was meant for me, because let's face it--- as the first born daughter of immigrant parents, there were dreams on me, and it was not necessarily mine.

Long story short--- I listened to God, who in a mere moment took my breathe away. My tears stopped. My pain was lifted, and in that instant, God--what I felt--- words are not enough. 

The thing is that just because I am a Creative Writing/Photography  major with a minor in Art History and Computer Applications & Digital Media Design, that in no way means my life is "easier"! 

Try being that daughter that does a 180 and does the one thing you wished you did not waste you money, time, and struggles on! How about having a bunch of friends who are clearly smarter than you and no one lets you forget it because you "gave up" when it got hard? 

Yeah. That was my "cities [laid in ruin] and without inhabitant, until the houses [were] left deserted and the fields ruined and ravaged". But here I am, and even if I do not have a job waiting for me (I don't worry) or my parents are disappointed (they have two other kids), I want to end this life with at least a seed planted...to be used to spread the Word, to bring God to every soul, to use my being and stand firm when seraphim (like seriously...they are supernatural and they fly at you with BURNING COAL) come at me with burning coal so that I can be purified and used. Besides, it is the stump that has the seed...so even when I'm cut down, there is something left in me!

So, what is your Isaiah moment? Are you ready to be cleansed and used, even when everyone will hate you for your words, will you be Here? Are you willing to be a stump and not a tree?

Goodnight & Blessings,

Princy

P.S. The quote was: "Arrested Development. Gob is my favorite."
P.S.S. Amy Poehler and Will Arnett should still be together...because the Arrested Development episodes where they are together are literally perfect. 

still in progress:)

Day 6

So, I start this blog with something I saw on Facebook (oops.)-- but before I let the comments distract me, I just wanted to think about the actual post. Time is infinite for God, and He put you in His plans...meaning our minute amount of time is part of a larger picture.

Anyways, as I was listening to music and riding the bus home, an old man exited and with a serene kind of stillness and peace, just stood in the street. He, in his ragged appearance, old cane in hand, empty plastic bad clinging carelessly to a few crooked fingers, was a sight. I teared, as he looked in a wayward distance and then dragged his body away. 

I teared, because somewhere in my soul, I feared. 

When I was younger, it is safe to say my childhood was not lollipops and sunshine, good decisions, and wonderful development. So, I would make dreams: that I would become a doctor-teacher-principal-millionaire that would take every child ever ignored or alone, every foster kid, every soon-to-be-aborted child and put them in my home. Now, my home was a mansion, able to sustain all of them. There would be training and support for the mothers who did not have homes and needed love. There would be classrooms where all the kids would learn and go off to college. I would build several estates all over the States and then move into other countries. I also took care of all the animals in shelters and on the streets, because each soul made me think of the times
I felt that love was lacking in my life. This also included all the grandparents I see by themselves, all the sick, all the poor...every soul that was alone...

So, today, seeing that old man-- he may have been going to a party, visiting his grand-kids, or as alone as I felt he was---  made me remember my solution for peace. I truly believe every person needs someone to love them. The thing is that...that person is not me...and will never be me. That person is God. That person is Jesus. 

Words? (A lot is going on right now so I can't cry in front of people---because they make me happy...especially Nancy who is literally a bundle of joy wrapped in happiness!)

Anyways, Jonathon gave us each a book that apparently is something he thinks we should read: 

AKA. ---interracial everything?...JKAY, that's not why we're here.

But also...listening to some mixes from DJ Prevail...tell him to give me music and mix at my wedding. KTB.

Goodbye & Good EVENING (wow, early!),

Princy

P.S. My "Quote of the Day" was: My Isaiah Moment. (And I will tell you more about it another time..that...is a WHOLE other post!)

Day 5

So, Shereen is playing some slow music right now, and it is depressing me. I mean, right now, I feel drained and a bit tired. 

BUT I'm excited for tomorrow--- we get to play with kids, like what I did in Spring Break, but I get to bring Jesus in:) Perfect way to spend a day. 

So, today I wrote on my folder (after much struggle as an English major with terrible spelling): "Privilege to serve."

Now, today we came into work (a great place to work btw), and Isaac and Danielle (from Spring Break) talked about how we should act with the kids and what to do and not to do. I heard it before, but Issac said something that stuck--and I wrote it on my folder, so I do not forget. 

Now, the other day I wrote a little poem in my down time:

If I saw the broken mirror,
I'd just throw it away.
There is no use in cutting my fingers,
To save this world anyway.
These are the thoughts,
We so easily say.
But think of the Cross,
The blood already paid.
He picked up the pieces,
He took all the scars.
So we are the glue,
Stopping the pieces from falling off again. 

Now, I wrote the poem with a little influence from Jonathon calling this world "a mirror image of Heaven", but in our sin we have broken it, and now it takes God to put us, the pieces, back together again. 

I connect this to serving, because sometimes I am guilty of this, we do things because we know a reward waits for us. Or, we think we are the ones who can hold it all...like Atlas. Honestly, if I am a broken piece of a mirror, and I am picked up---even I hurt the one person who cares enough to put me back in my place...with my fellow broken brothers and sisters... God, what a privilege!

I know that is an extreme of personification--- but what a beautiful way of thinking. I want to be whole again, to reflect the beauty of my Lord...but how can I do that if parts of me are still missing? We are, I believe, parts of God's heart. He misses us, and sometimes like a broken mirror, we cut Him even when He cares to pick us back up again...but He loves us...we are in His heart. Always and forever.

A little danger,
Blood drawn now--
But see the masterpiece,
I sell my son for.
This little imagery,
A world that doesn't know--
How far I will go,
To bring them all home.
So, let me take this Cross,
Let me bear their beatings.
If I be shunned and hated,
I'll never leave them.
These beautiful pieces,
Broken in their own way--
Come together,
And when I smile--
Oh, how the Heavens will praise me. 


Goodbye & Goodnight,

Princy

8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:8-10

P.S. Sorry I wrote that poem on the spot...it needs work...just like I do:P